China~ Day 11&12

Sunday was our free day and we were originally scheduled to go to church. I was really looking forward to being in a Chinese church, but our guide strongly suggested that we skip it due to the ages of our kids. They do not have nursery (and we would never leave them in a nursery) so we would have had to keep the girls quiet and still for an hour and half. While we were all a bit bummed that we would not get that experience, it was for the best.

Instead we visited a wholesale jewelry market, specifically fresh water pearls. Our guide taught us how to tell fake from real pearls and brought us to her favorite vendor. It is Chinese tradition to give pearls to daughters at their wedding, so I was really happy to be able to go look for pearls for both Maggie and Macy. After much talking, deciding and bargaining, all the girls left happy and loaded with beautiful pearls...and the husbands left with lighter pockets :)

Another Chinese tradition is passing on jade. Jade is a beautiful stone in variant green shades that is prevalent in Chinese art and culture. It is said to bring a blessing to whatever it touches. A jade bracelet would be passed down from mother to daughter and so forth. A grandmother would wear her mother's and than pass it on to her own daughter (or daughter in law) when she cam or age or married. The daughter would pass it on to her daughter and so forth. I saw these bracelets on many women of all ages. I was really hoping to get one to pass on to Maggie, but the ones I looked at at the mall were very expensive. I told our guide that I loved her bracelet and she asked the pearl lady if she had any jade bracelets. Her husband was a jade dealer in the building across the street. She had a few that she had on clearance and I was able to pick one out for a great price. The bracelets are meant to have a tight fit, so when the one that I liked didn't fit, the lady behind the corner grabbed a plastic bag, slid it over my hand and jammed that bracelet right down. It fit! I was a bit nervous it would not come off, but the same bag was put back on, and just reversed the motion. Success!

Our next stop was at the Shamian Island, a small area that was formally a colonel European developed area. It used to be the hub for all adoptions in China, where families would stay on the island and all government visa and medical checks took place. Now it is mainly a tourist area, filled with statues.

It is really beautiful, but felt more like a European area than China. We took pictures with the statues and enjoyed our lunch at Lucy's, a popular restaurant among adoptees. At one point, it was one of the few non-Chinese restaurants around. I enjoyed having an actual cold Dt. Coke and Maggie and her little friend, Lucy got to hang out together.

We headed back for naps and attempted to swim again. It was also not successful. We got dinner down the street with the other families and Maggie was feeling right at home!

How does this sound for dinner? Any takers?

Monday morning was our big Consulate day! We were prepped multiple times about this appointment and all the many rules and regulations. We COULD NOT be late, we could not bring in ANYTHING, we must not do this or that... I felt a bit nervous for this was our very last, final step in our adoption. (Or so I thought. Turns out there is still a LOT of paper work when you return home.)

We got ready, with our Marriott black bag that we were told we MUST bring and stood in line to enter the U.S Consulate.

I was surprised how good it felt to be on U.S soil in a foreign country. We were greeted with friendly smiles and walked into a cool, air conditioned room that looked just like a DMV. The Adoption agent was funny and friendly and instantly had all the adoptive parents at ease. We did a group pledge before a guy behind a glass window and waited for our number. We chatted with other American families about China and our experiences and just enjoyed being able to understand everything and everyone! Bonus, they had clean western-style toilets!!! With a changing table! Trust me, you don't want to use public Chinese restrooms. It is a bring-your-own-tp squatty or no seat on the western-style type thing. Due to bad plumbing, most use the wastebasket to throw away their tp...so it never smells nice.

We were almost the last family to go through the interview and it was a fun, easy experience. I am not sure why were were prepped for such a serious thing, but it really ended up being a fun, happy experience! Maggie was now our daughter in the eyes of China, the International Hague conventions, Internationally and in the United States of America. It was a wonderful feeling!

Ryan went with our guide to an underground grocery store while I hung out with Maggie at a local coffee shop and then it was back to the hotel for lunch and naps. We opted out of the swimming time, since Maggie hated it and she seemed to get a rash from the chlorine.

We met with the other family who was traveling with us and their 3 year old and had pizza. It was a nice change of pace to eat some pizza after days of noodles and Chinese food!

We picked up a some water from 7-11 and headed home for the night. Does the food look a little different from 7-11 in the US?

Two more tourist days and then we are heading home!

Adoption posts:

Day1-3

Day 4

Day 5~ Gotcha Day!

Day 6- Adoption Day

Day 7-8

Day 9-10

Post- Adoption: Month 2

We've had our Maggie for two whole months now. It seems like forever and yet, it seems like yesterday. We've had good days and bad days, but overall, things are going well.

Maggie seems to be adjusting to our busy life filled with soccer practice, games, school drop offs and pick ups.

Attachment: This is the hardest part for me. I just am not sure how it is going. I think she is attaching to us. She really loves Ryan and gets very excited when he comes home from work. She likes the kids and gets excited when the boys get off the bus. She has started to get annoyed when Macy or Colin try to walk with her and she is busy playing...just like siblings do. But, she doesn't seem to be scared of strangers. I think she trusts us as her caretakers, I am not sure if she understands that it is deeper and that we are her parents, not just a nanny that never goes away! Time will tell, and so far, we are making steps. Big steps or little steps, I can't tell. But, we are moving forward.

Growth: When we first got Maggie she weighed 17 lbs 14 oz at 15 months old. Our first doctors' appointment at 3 weeks led to no weight gain, which I was very disappointed with. I had hoped with the additional solid food we had fed her, she would have gained. However, we had a weight check yesterday and home girl put on TWO FULL POUNDS! She now breaks the 20 lbs mark! That is a lot of weight to gain for a little lady and her face, arms and legs are definitely plumping up.

Food: She was only being fed 3 formula bottles a day and was introduce to rice cereal in her bottle the week before we got her. We gave her food from a spoon the first time. She also did not know how to feed herself. If I had puffs in my hand, she could pick them up, but did not know how to bring them to her mouth. She would pick them up, show me, put them back in my hand and let me know she wanted some. She figured out how to feed herself within the first 2 weeks of being home.
She vetoed the spoon for a few weeks but now will eat cereal (which is important, since she needs the fortified iron badly) baby food and finger foods. She also cut two new teeth, totally 6. Our goals now are to get her to drink water from a cup, at least to learn how to operate one. She is still on 3 formula bottles a day.

Physical Development: She went from barely moving in China to army crawling lightning fast to going up on all fours crawling. She is cruising all around our furniture and loves to walk holding our hands. I would say her biggest change development wise is her movement. She moves non stop. I expect her to be walking by Thanksgiving. She has really taken off with her movement.

Verbal: While she "talks" all the time and will babble and even try to mimic, she is not clearly saying any words. She will say "mama" but I am not convinced that she means me.  She does know how to wave hello, give high fives, point to my nose and so forth, so I think her language understanding is improving, just no words. I have to remind myself that she has only heard English for 2 months and spent 15 months only hearing Chinese. It will come in time.

Goals: Words! We are hoping to get some words out of her soon. Drinking from a sippy cup and continuing with her weight gain and mobility.

We love our sweet and sassy Maggie Li Ya!

China~ Day 9 and 10

Friday morning we woke up to our last day in Nanning. We were able to sleep in, enjoy our last buffet breakfast at the Marriott (which was my favorite hotel and breakfast of the whole trip) and slowly packed up our room.

We did one last trip to Walmart. Looking back, I wish that I would have stocked up more. It was so easy and convenient to be able to walk down a few flights of stair and have everything that we would need. Our next stop, Guangzhou, was much harder to navigate and to get necessities.

We loaded up all our bags, said good bye to the room where we brought our daughter "home" and met with Sunshine. She was bringing us the last of our legal documents.

We were taking the bullet train to Guangzhou, instead of flying, and I don't think that Ryan could have been more excited! The train station was large, clean and very modern. We figured out our gate and paid a bell hop to take our bags to the train, so we did not have to navigate stairs. Turns out that for $3 we got to board first and didn't have to load our bags. It was great. Our guide Sunshine set that up for us.

It was sad to say goodbye to Sunshine. It was like the adult parent leaving us alone! Sunshine said her good byes and then 5 minutes later came running up to us. She told us that we had to get off at the  Guangzhou-Nan station. Nan means "south" in Mandarin and so we needed to get off at the south station. In only a way that Sunshine could, she made all of us repeat the word "nan" back to her. All of us. All adults. No questions asked, you repeated "nan" back to her...even if you are in your mid 30's. You repeat what she tells you to repeat!

The bullet train was just so fun. It was quiet and smooth and fast! It goes around 135 mph and you can barely tell that you are moving. It was my favorite form of traveling while we were in China. The only bad part was that we left at night, so 2 of our 4 hours were at night and we were in rural China, so there was no light or electricity around.

While we stayed in beautiful modern China for our trip, it was fascinating to see "real" China, as our guide called it. Rice fields upon rice fields that were being plowed by water buffalo with farmers in traditional conical hats.  Stunning rock formations that appear out of no where, small villages filled with animals and laundry hung out to dry. It was one of my favorite parts of the trip, to see how the rural, "real" China lives and survives.

Maggie came alive during the trip. It was the first time that we got a peak at her silly, wild little self. She was funny and started to tease Ryan and I, smiling and laughing most of the trip.

 Tickling Daddy

We arrived in Guangzhou late, managed to get 4 adults, 3 children and 6+ bags off the train and to the main entrance. It was medal worthy :)

We met our next guide, Molly and headed to our hotel. Guangzhou is just so massive. Even in the dark evening, you could see city stretching for miles.

After some room service, we finally got some sleep.

Saturday, day 9, we had our medical appointment for Maggie's US visa. We needed to get her Visa and US immigration picture taken, as well as a short medical exam.

The A/C was out in the building, and we were all dripping with sweat after the first 3 minutes.  Maggie was NOT having her picture taken. She would not let me put her down and screamed her head off when we tried to prop her up. Miraculously, we were able to get a head shot, though I have no idea how!

The medical exam is very basic and just confirms that her special needs are what is stated in her paperwork and that she does not have any contagious diseases before she boards a plane for the US. She would have her height and weight checked, her hearing and vision and a quick exam.

It was here that we saw our docile, limp little daughter turn into a raging, kicking bull. She came alive and fought every one of those doctors. She was strong and moving and kicking. When the doctor tried to get her to stand, she kicked at him and threw her head back and screamed. It was crazy. I do not know if she had bad memories of doctors from her time in the hospital, or if she was just hot and didn't want one more stranger to touch her...but she let the world know it.

 Afterwards, Maggie and I rested, while Ryan went over all the legal papers for our consulate appointment. The last part of our adoption would be completed on Monday.

Maggie and I hung out in the room while Ryan worked on paperwork with our guide.

Here is the thing. Adoption is messy. It is hard and is born out of deep loss and pain. That was one of the areas that I was not prepared for. I thought I was. I read the books, did the training. I knew that in order to be an orphan, you had to experience loss. The heaviness of this hit me hard in China. Maggie lost everything she had ever known...for the second time. BUT...the beauty of adoption is the redemption. God can make brokenness whole, bring families together and create a new beauty out of ashes. 9 days after we met this sad stoic girl, we hung out and had fun together. Real fun with real joy. Adoption is good for us. It stretches us and moves us. And it brings us great joy.

After a nap, we met up with our group at the outdoor pool. I loved it. It felt AMAZING after the constant heat of China. Maggie, however, was not impressed.

At all.

Guangzhou is in southern China and they mostly speak Cantonese. Cantonese food is prevalent and served family style. We decided to venture out as a group and have dinner outside of the hotel. Somehow, Ryan turned into the "adventurous" one and did most of the ordering. I found it hilarious, because it was definitely not something that he would normally do. The food in China is not like anything in the states. Most restaurants have their seafood tanks on the outside and you regularly see the chefs coming out and pulling from the tanks.

Dinner is usually a pork dish, a noodle dish, rice, a vegetable and many requests for forks. No water, because all water is served hot and is probably not filtered. Maggie started letting me put her in a high chair, so that I could actually try to eat.

Overall, our first full day in Guangzhou was successful.

China Posts:

Day 1-3

Day 4

Day 5: Gotcha Day

Day 6: Adoption Day

Day 7 and 8

China~ Day 7 & 8

Wednesday and Thursday were our "off" days in Nanning. We were waiting for our adoption certificates and other items to be finalized, as well as  Maggie's US visa application, so we were able to see a few of the sights around Nanning.

Maggie still wakes up and cries when she sees us and notices she is not back at the orphanage. She is starting to prefer me, but we are having Ryan feed her her bottle, so that he can be apart and she will attach to both of us. It is very common for an adopted child to pick one parent and shun the other. We were aware of this before coming and were prepared for Maggie to want either one of us exclusively. So far, we have been very happy that she will tolerate both of us, even if she prefers me at this point in time.

We went to the Guangxi Provincial Museum Wednesday so that we could learn more about the heritage and history of the girls. China is divided into provinces, much like we are divided into states. Adoptions take place in the capital, even if the children are from a different city. Maggie actually lived 2 hours from Nanning. 

The museum highlighted 12 different Chinese ethnic groups that are in the Guangxi province, especially the Zhrung people. It was a fascinating place that I wish we would have explored more. We kept most of our outings to just the mornings so that the girls could nap on the same schedule as in the orphanage. Our guide, Sunshine, was very helpful in explaining things to us and showing us key points in the girls' history.  The Guangxi area is known for large brass drums, and we were able to see some that were more than 2,000 years old! China is so old and rich in history.

Where all the brass drums were found in Guangxi.

One area of the museum showed large pictures of a sheer cliff with drawings on them. It looks very similar to cave drawings you would see in Latin America or even American Indian drawings on walls. It was fascinating to see something that looked SO similar, but was done thousand of miles apart. Our guide very seriously told us that they believe that aliens drew those pictures, because how could anyone do it on such a vertical cliff. Dead serious face. Aliens had to do it, because how else?!?! I mean, really, how else? Ha.

Our afternoons are filled with rocking a sad baby and trying to get her to sleep. Lunch is now a protein bar in the bathroom and trying to get the Internet to work to update our kids and family back home. 

It is a slower pace than I would like, but very necessary for Maggie. I would have loved to explore the whole time, but touring China was not my goal. Loving, caring for and slowing everything down for Maggie was the goal.

No car seats in China. Kids just ride along on laps. Maggie had the public transit pose down.

Thursday morning we headed out to the Green Mountain, which is a huge stunningly beautiful park area. We took a tram up and around the "mountain" which was more like a big hill and enjoyed the landscape. It was so lush, tropical and green. Our guide told us that you could spend two days there and not see everything. We stopped to feed about a million koi fish in a pond and take some pictures. We also were able to see a great aerial shot of Nanning.

It was just SO hot. Nanning's weather is very tropical and similar to south Florida in August. The humidity is almost at 100% and I wore Maggie the whole time. We both were completely drenched in sweat. Even though we would have loved to spend more time on the mountain, I was getting sick from the heat and I was worried about Maggie. Both Jessica and I carried our girls, so we were SO hot the whole time. It was one of my very favorite areas in all of China, but we could only manage a few hours outside in the heat.

Our drive back to the hotel included  a stop at a local pharmacy and our guide turning into a rockstar. Sweet Maggie had not had a bowel movement since we got her and had stopped eating. We needed to do something to get things "moving". Sunshine made the decision and then proceeded to head to our room with us and administer that enema herself. Mere words on paper will not do this story justice. She administered, held my daughter over a toilet squatting and explained how they do this stuff in China...with sound effects. It is a story that must be told in person.

BUT, we are SO thankful that she was willing to help her out. She knew that it would traumatize an already traumatized and upset child and she knew that we needed to be the ones to comfort her and not administer it. We are SO thankful for Sunshine. She needed a raise after that afternoon...

Later both families ventured out of the hotel for dinner and managed to find a noodle shop that had an English menu. After a few mishaps asking for a fork, we were all able to mostly eat a good meal. Maggie stopped eating in a highchair and would only let me hold her. So, I ate a noodle soup dish with chopsticks with a 15 month old on my lap.  And sometimes that is just what you have to do and you do it.

There was a fun little pavilion next to the restaurant with robots that kids could ride and move. We wished our kids were with us, as they would have loved to play with those. There was also what appeared to be a fun coffee shop, but turned out to be filled with old creepy teddy bears in cages. I am not afraid of clowns, but after looking at the teddy bear place, I may not look at an old bear the same again. 

We ended our night with a live show in front of the mall. It appeared to be a health clinic with nurses and doctors at tables, but there was also a stage with acts going on...so who really knows. We got dairy queen and Maggie had her first bite of ice cream, thanks to her daddy. She was more interested in the red spoon, but would take a few bites.

We are starting to get to know Maggie more and she is starting to smile a bit more with us. She is letting us know when she wants something, even though she is barely playing or moving around. She just wants to be held by one of us at all times. Overall, she is doing well. We are trying to absorb this one on one time with her while we can.

 Tomorrow we leave Nanning and head to our last stop in China, Guangzhou. I am sad to leave this city, the city where I met my daughter, but I am happy to move on to the next step and get her home and see our kids. Nanning will always hold a very special spot in my heart.

Our China Posts

China: Day 1-3

China: Day 4

China: Day 5~ Gotcha Day!

China: Day 6~Adoption Day