Wednesday, September 7, 2016

1st and 3rd

And it is over. The first day of school. The first drop off, the first friend, the first lunch time, the first recess. The first day of first grade. The first day of third grade. It's in the books and it was successful.

This letting go thing is not easy. It is so much easier to cocoon those sweet boys in my home, in my arms, with my watchful eyes on them. What if Colin's teacher doesn't realize that he needs alone time? How does a 6 year old find some space in a school of 400?! Will Jack's teacher let him be creative or will she just move forward with the schedule? SO many "what ifs", so many questions that unsettle this momma's heart.

But, I am proud of these boys. Colin was brave and stoic as he walked through the hallways crowded with kids and made his way slowly to his classroom. He took in everything around him, trying to commit everything to memory, so he could repeat it on his own. On our way down the hallway, just as we reached his classroom door a new little boy that he was introduced to minutes before the bell rang turned around, grabbed his hand and told him that this was their classroom. He was going to be alright.  I watched Colin and the little boy walk hand in hand into the room. Mom didn't even need to walk him in.(Don't worry. I cried when I told Ryan that story...and every time I think about it)

Jack is the pro now. The big bad third grader. He put his arm around his "bff" who was feeling a bit nervous with the new teacher. He put his lunch in the basket and got all of his new school supplies out, ready to start.

I was anxious and nervous and teary about Colin being in a big new school, full day. I paced the house, checked the clock, looked at the schedule a million times. I gave myself pep talks. "It's fine. He's fine. Everything is fine."

And it was.

Colin WAS fine. He did great. He engaged with both his teacher and his music teacher. Jack was bummed that he could not check out new books from his new teachers yet. He has his reading placement test today and was excited/nervous.

So on this second day of school, I want to remember those first few nerves. Those first big steps. The oversized backpacks and the shuffling feet. Because all too soon, they will be moving out of elementary into a whole new world. Mom is just not ready for that...yet.

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