Saturday, January 24, 2009

Who are you?

My Dearest Jack,

I was thinking about you last night. Mommy and Daddy were on a date, one of the very few that we have had since you were born, to celebrate Daddy's birthday. Even though we spend all our time with you, our conversation naturally drifted to back to you, my son. We were thinking about you and it made us ask, who are you? Who is the little life that has come to live with us?

I wondered a lot about you when I was pregnant with you. After we found out you were a boy and you would be our Jack David, I wondered about you. I wondered how you would look, what you would be like. Would you look more like me, or more like your dad?

I knew some things about you during your time in the womb. I knew that you got hiccups a lot. You would kick back if I held my hand to my belly, or if Daddy would hold his hand to my belly. You liked to roll around, till it got to tight to move. You laid horizontal in a tight little ball right by my belly button and would not move. Our midwife could not tell how big you would be because you were so tight and at the center of my belly. You were comfortable, so why move? You also caused me to be the size of a whale and stretch that belly button much to far that it still has not recovered.

I thought that when you were born, i would know all about you, but when we brought you home that first night you did not eat. I could not make you eat and you cried and i cried. I didn't know you or what to do. But we worked it out together and now all you want to do is nurse. Solid foods?You are not such a big fan of those.

Your Daddy wondered about you, what will you be like at 6 months, at 12 months and 5 yrs? Well, now that you are 6 months, you are becoming more and more independent. You can sit alone, play alone. You touch everything in sight and you want to see everything around you. You do this, not because we want you to, but because you want.

You have your likes and dislikes. You have your favorite toys and your favorite times of days. You are happy and content unless you are hungry or tired. Everyone raves about how happy you are. I am blessed for that. I really am.

But i still ask who are you? Who will you become? What will you talk about when you can talk? What will your favorite book be? Will you still like Animal Sounds, or will you have moved on to something much more advance?

I feel like i know your Daddy very well. I can anticipate life with him, a happy fulfilling life with him. But, while i know life with you will also be happy and oh so fulfilling, i wonder what it will hold and the little man that you will become. Because while i know you better each day, you are constantly changing each day and surprising me.

You, my son, are funny. Really funny. You have a weird sense of humor and laugh at the most random things. You got that from your dad. You make me laugh just as much as he does, and you have yet to use words. I wonder what you will say when you can tell me a joke.

While you have been in my life, in my house and in my world for a mere 6 1/2 months, you have changed it so much. It has been a wonderful, beautiful change and i look forward to being able to spend years and years answering the question... Who are you, Jack Fedell?

All my love,
Mommy

2 comments:

Mrs. B. said...

Absolutely adorable. Made me cry...you're a good mommy.

Crystal Leigh said...

cute. Jack David is going to appreciate that so much when he's older. children are special gifts from God.